Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Get Rid of Mental Baggages

Corrie ten Boom was the very first female watchmaker to be licenced in the Netherlands.

She and her family were renowned for helping many Jews escape The Holocaust during World War II. Due to their acts of kindness, many of her family members and her were subsequently arrested and thrown into prison for being part of the Resistance.

A number of years after her traumatic experience in the Nazi concentration camp, Corrie ten Boom was speaking in a church when she found herself standing face-to-face with a man who had been one of the cruellest guards she ever encountered in the camps. This man had humiliated and degraded both her and her sister. Jeering at them and visually ‘raping’ them as they stood in the sanitary shower.

Suddenly, he stood there before her with an outstretched hand, asking, “Will you forgive me?” Corrie said, “I stood there with coldness clutching at my heart, but I knew that the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. I prayed, “Jesus, help me!” Woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me, and when I did I experienced an incredible thing. The current started in my shoulder, raced down into my arm, and sprang into our clutched hands. Then this warm reconciliation seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes. “I forgive you, brother,” I cried with my whole heart.

For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I have never known the love of God as intensely as I did in that moment.

Corrie recounts this and her other experiences in the concentration camp in her very famous book, “The Hiding Place”. She later received several honours for her heroism and noble works during World War II.

Her story serves as a very good example of someone who not only got rid of her emotional baggage, but also didn’t allow the hurtful events of the past to run or rule her life in the present and future sense. And I believe that this sort of behaviour is something that all married couples must seek to exhibit in their marriage.

When we don’t let go of hurt and disappointment from a previous relationship but we carry them into our marriage, and our partner does something similar that reminds us of the pain from the past, we react with needless anger as if it was our partner that inflicted the original hurt. This is very unhealthy and can be quite damaging to a marriage. Because your over-the-top reaction to something surface and minor causes your spouse to be upset and puts them in a state of dilemma. The longer this goes on, the more damaging it will get for your marriage.

It's hard to be clear about who you are when you are carrying around a bunch of baggage from the past. I've learned to let go and move more quickly into the next place.
Angelina Jolie

I think people just need to understand that no matter how much you try to, you can’t unscramble an egg. Once it’s scrambled, you cannot unmake it. It’s like spilled milk, you can’t cry over it forever. But what you can do is clean up the mess that’s been made, and move on from there.

Look at it like your work-desk at the office or at home. Over time, you’ve piled up files and papers upon paper and now you are unable to focus on important work because the clutter has become a distraction. You can decide to keep watching the pile of clutter grow by the day, or you can decide to declutter and get rid of the rubbish so that you can have space for new things to come in.

In the same way, you can declutter your mind of any emotional baggage that’s hindering you from embracing the bright future in your marriage. No point crying endlessly over something that come and gone. Get over it and get on with your life.

If I didn't forgive the people who took me into the barracks and beat me unconscious over a period of days during the period when the British state was indicted for inhuman and degrading treatment in 1971-72, or even the guys who shot me, if you don't forgive them, you end up with unnecessary baggage.
Gerry Adams

Sometimes letting go of some things could help you better appreciate the things you still have.


The Marriage Workshop 

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