YOU OWE IT TO YOUR CHILD

In many societies of the world, creativity amongst children is in sharp decline. This is truly an alarming state of affairs that’s been exacerbated by their endless crave for electronic gadgets such as smart phones, tablets and games console. Hardly would you find a child (especially in the developed countries) who has not been beguiled by the appeal of these electronic devices. In fact, nowadays, it is common place to see a child as young as 10 walking about with a smart phone or a tablet – snapping away or chatting carelessly on snapchat and the likes.

This situation appears to have created a very unhealthy dependence on electronic gadgets in many of these children. To the extent that it's become almost an arduous task for their parents to get them off it in a bid to make them spend quality time doing things that would help to nurture their minds. Not that electronic gadgets in themselves are wrong altogether, it’s just that it has somehow taken over the attention of many children and young adults to such an alarming rate.

Whilst travelling on a bus the other day, a boy (who couldn’t have been more than 9 years old) made everyone’s journey a cheerless one. With a mobile phone in his hand, and for reasons best known to him, he was creating a scene by shouting at other students on the bus. Jeering and laughing out very loudly! When they turned to meet his gaze, he would either take a picture of them or record a video of them. This carried on until this little boy alighted the bus. His helpless grandma, whom he was travelling with couldn’t stop him as all her cries for him to stop this very unruly and noisy behaviour feel on deaf ears. Meanwhile, I and other passengers aboard looked on defencelessly. Hoping that the senselessness we were witnessing would be short lived. So, you can imagine the relief on people’s faces when he got off the bus with his poor grandma. 

This is what you call antisocial behaviour, which has been made worse by a child’s dependency on electronic gadget. To the extent that he lacked social skills completely. He instead exhibited some ludicrous characteristics to the dismay of helpless passengers.

The American cultural anthropologist and filmmaker Elizabeth Kapu'uwailani Lindsey said this, “We live in a society bloated with data yet starved for wisdom. We're connected 24/7, yet anxiety, fear, depression and loneliness is at an all-time high. We must course-correct.”

She’s too right!

5 Steps to wean children from electronic gadgets

1. Set a good foundation for your child:
You have to ask yourself these: what foundation have I given to my child? Is it the right foundation for them? Is it going to equip them with the right skills for the challenges that they’ll meet in the future? Indeed, is it preparing them to become purposeful individuals in the future? And if you find that the foundation you’ve set for your child is faulty, then change it. Change it because their foundation will determine what they eventually become in the future.

2. Set academic goals for your child:
No matter how advanced society gets, it can never replace the need for education. In fact, the only reason why society has advanced so much is because of education, and without it, we may probably still be in the dark ages. Education enables children to connect with their God-given potential, and when this magic happens, they grow up to become contributors and not just consumers. So, go ahead and set academic goals for your child and challenge them to continuously keep reaching for academic excellence.

3. Set creative goals for your child:
Children are different. Some are academically inclined and others are
not. Now, the fact that a child isn’t academically inclined does not make him or her less of a person – no, not so! The annals of our evolution as a society is full of stories of men and women who did great exploits through the discovery of their creative abilities. Henry Ford at a very young age was for example renowned for dismantling wrist watches and then reassembling them. Although he wasn’t scholarly, yet he is credited for introducing the Model T automobile that revolutionised transportation and American industry. The key thing here is to guide your child on their journey to self-discovery and not allow them to waste away their time with electronic gadgets.

4. Set a weekly timetable for your child:
If children knew how to order their steps in life by themselves, then they wouldn’t be children. They are children because they need tutoring and guidance, and it is the duty of parents to provide this. An unstructured child will become a very confused adult. Thus, to avoid this calamity, you have to introduce and maintain a well-balanced learning system in the home. Your child shouldn’t be the one dictating for you what they want and when they want it. You must let them know and understand that you are the parent – it’s not the other way round!

5. Stick to your guns and be unwavering on your stand:
Children, if left to their own devices, would do nothing but play all day long. They would resist every attempt to get them into a productive routine, but you have to match their resistance with the determination to see it through. Sometimes, in doing this, you may need to use the ‘stick and carrot’ approach. Basically, you reward them for following instructions without failing to let them know that this might be withdrawn if they slide back into unwanted behaviour. Consequently, be ready to effectively withdraw the reward when they fail to keep to agreed boundaries. Although this isn’t always easy for parents to see through, it is quite possible with great determination.

Helping to structure children throughout their upbringing should always be seen as sowing the seeds of greatness that they would reap as a bountiful harvest in the future. The truth is that if you get it right, they would look back someday and thank you for helping them to attain the great achievements in years to come. But if the opposite is the case, then expect them to blame you for not doing enough for them when they needed you to.

Many people talk about ‘whiling away time’ and it makes me laugh really! The reason I laugh is because you don’t actually ‘while away time’ – you waste it. And this I consider is a choice. What choice, therefore, are you making with your children? Will you allow them to waste away their time or will you guide them into using their time most efficiently?

You owe it to your child to give them the necessary guidance that would help to set them aright in life. You must never forget that you are the parent, and that, for a reason. Hence, play your role, and play it well.

The Marriage Workshop