You Don't Have To Be Selfish!!!

You don't have to be selfish!!!

Think of all the parties involved whilst you are contemplating separation or divorce. Ensure you do not leave issues to build up before dealing with them, as this can be detrimental to your relationship. Learn to deal with all the little foxes as soon as they surface, so that they do not become major issues that you may find insurmountable in the future.

Most issues don’t resolve themselves, we have to put in conscious and concerted effort to resolve them. Don't use the edge you have on the side of the Law i.e. in the U.K. to evict your husband like a piece of dirt, especially when he doesn't deserve it. Remember! It takes two to make children and ideally, two to raise them. (It is fair to say that this is not always possible in some extreme cases, but all effort should at least be put in to make things work rather than promoting selfish intentions.)

There is no perfect marriage. If any consolation, you are not alone in your world! Some are even going through worst situations, but are instead taking positive steps to resolve these issues.

Keep in mind that stress can cause the strongest of marriages to collapse!

A wise woman builds her house but a foolish one tears it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

Separation or Divorce decision should be made independent of your emotions. Do not rush into it, fight for your marriage and try to repair the relationship. Seek professional help because these issues can affect your health if bottled in.

Think! What is the main cause of the conflict? Is it just a phase or an unresolved conflict? Is there something that happened in the past that you just can't get past? Are you leaving in un-forgiveness? Has the relationship just become boring? You just don’t feel anything any more! Remember, love is a choice!, it can come back if you open up to it.

However, if the current state of your marriage is violent i.e. a physically abusive relationship, you must take the necessary steps to remove yourself (and your children) from danger. It is still possible for this situation to be resolved, but it will take time and a lot of effort from both parties, and done with an open mind to save the marriage at this stage.

The Marriage Workshop