The Goer In A Relationship

Episode 46: The Baggage

The 3 R's To Fortify Your Marriage

PRESS RELEASE: YES LORD YES

YES LORD YES

New Single from Sam Opeche

Release date: 

24th March 2020

Gospel Singer, Author and songwriter, Sam Opeche is set to release the much anticipated single "Yes Lord Yes" on 24th March, and to mark this occasion fans can download a selection of his previous songs via Soundcloud. This single from the RCCG worship leader comes four years after his last release in March 2016.

Bowing to the growing demands from church leaders, friends, family and fans alike who desired to again hear his signature of soulful melodies and heartfelt lyrics, Sam found himself singing "Yes Lord Yes," as the words reverberated within. 

Teaming up with the award-winning producer Evans Ogboi, Sam has stayed with his roots in ensuring that the song "Yes Lord Yes" is simple yet atmospheric in a blend of unmistakeable testimony of hope and triumph. Of note, the words demonstrate a longing for God's benevolence, signs and wonders in a time when hopelessness seems magnified. 

As a songwriter, Sam is keen, always, to project the influence that The Cross of Jesus has had in his life since becoming a Christian, and this song, like many that he has created, shows that 'The Cross' is still very central to who he is. 

The song comes to a climax in the mid-section as the hearty and moving phrases - "Let everything work, for my good, for my good, Jesus" - progresses. Resonating that loving, merciful, truthful, faithful and powerful name of Jesus in a way that is personal, it takes you to a joyous embrace of optimism.  

A multiple award winner, Sam Opeche recently concluded a very successful tour of the UK and Europe. During his tour, he had the privilege of performing alongside gospel heavy weights such as (Nataniel Bassey, Sonnie Badu, Muyiwa Olanrewaju and Gabriel Eziashi) at a number of mega churches in the UK; several sold out concerts in Germany at the AfroGospel Festival and at the "Connection Convention in Wroclaw, Poland. Sam has also performed at the renowned London Festival of Life events at The Excel.

"Yes Lord Yes" can be bought on all major online music stores from 24th of March 2020.

For further information contact:

Email: 

sam@samopeche.com

Phone: 

+44 7859 020 688

+44 7916 293 134

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/samopechebiz

DIVORCE PAPERS

Today, our world has glamourised divorce.

They've made divorce to look trendy and cool that, at times, it seems and feels like a mere change of clothes the way some people disdain marriage through their unchecked desires. It’s a state of affairs that's largely encouraged by the growing number of relationship charlatans who pose as counsellors, lawyers and expects - but rather than mend hearts and restore relationships, they promote separation. However, what they usually don't tell you is the prolonged heartbreak that lingers despite having signed the divorce papers. They make you believe that leaving your husband or wife in search of another so called "Mr Right" or "The Right Woman" is the only credible path to finding the happiness that you've always dreamed of. Conversely, the reality for most people who have heeded such misleading counsel and done away with their marriage is often that the hope of happiness remains but a mirage. 

Researches tell us that the rate of divorce in second marriages is about 25% higher than in first marriages. That's very scary especially if you consider that the rate of divorce in first marriages varies between 42% - 71% depending on respective country. For example, Belgium has a divorce rate of 71%, Hungary is 67%, Spain is 61%, France is 55%, the USA is 53% and England is 42%. Hence, when you put together the lower end divorce rate of 42% and the 25% divorce rate for second marriages, you get a bleak picture of the destiny of many second marriages.

Divorce leaves a lingering scare that time often can’t heal: therein lies the problem. It was the late Dr Myles Munroe that said divorce is like death, except, there's no burial. Essentially, when somebody dies, there's a funeral and a burial which leads to a closure for most people, but with divorce, although the marriage dies, however there's no true closure because the person keeps showing up everywhere. You bump into them at the train station on the way to work. You may run into them in the local shop or supermarket every now and then. Or, you may bump into them at the airport. It gets even trickier if children are involved, you hardly can move on. Thus, so many people in such situations are forced to relive the pain of the divorce because they just can't shake off this person they're supposed to be separated from. In the end, what many thoughts was a gateway to happiness turns out to be a drawn-out period of heartache.

You may think that divorce is the conclusion of the matter, but alas, this is farfetched.

As I write this short piece, the story of Mr Hugh and Mrs Tini Owens hit the headlines at around lunchtime on Wednesday 25th July 2018. It introduced the "Woman in 'lifeless marriage denied divorce by court" – and it really caught my eye!

According to Sky News, the couple had been married for 40 years and the woman wants to end it because of her husband’s unreasonable behaviour and the breakdown of their marriage. But interestingly, the Supreme Court in the UK refused her case because, apparently, you can only divorce your spouse by UK law if you've been separated for 5 years. That was an interesting discovery for me - I have to say!

The report also highlighted the fact that two years ago, a lower court (Family Court) had described her complaints as "flimsy and exaggerated" thereby rejecting her allegations and refusing her case for divorce. Her husband, Mr Owens who is 80 years old denies all her allegations and claims that the only thing that could have broken down their marriage was her affair or perhaps her boredom state. 

Mrs Owens is 68 years old and her lawyer said the judges were not "forward-thinking" and that they should've reached a decision that's "fit with the current social mores". He went further to say that Mrs Owens is unable to progress with her life of liberty from her husband because of the Supreme Court's decision. I suspect that the next thing we'd probably see is a direct push from lobbyists for a change in the law. And we all are witnesses to the constant battering that the marriage institution has had to endure in this regard.

Some may argue that it's her life and she's free to do as she pleases with it. I don’t begrudge that! Yet I'm mindful that if several courts at different levels have reached the same conclusion with her case, then isn't that a tell-tale sign that she's the problem?

To me, there's no use in passing around a problem, it's best to fix it. Someone should point her to The Marriage Workshop for some fixing.

Sometimes, divorce may look like the most viable option for your marriage but have you tried forgiveness? Forgiveness is the weld of every fulfilling marriage, it is not a feeling but a choice.

Rather than running away from your marriage why not trust God to help you fight for it. 

The Marriage Workshop

YOU OWE IT TO YOUR CHILD

In many societies of the world, creativity amongst children is in sharp decline. This is truly an alarming state of affairs that’s been exacerbated by their endless crave for electronic gadgets such as smart phones, tablets and games console. Hardly would you find a child (especially in the developed countries) who has not been beguiled by the appeal of these electronic devices. In fact, nowadays, it is common place to see a child as young as 10 walking about with a smart phone or a tablet – snapping away or chatting carelessly on snapchat and the likes.

This situation appears to have created a very unhealthy dependence on electronic gadgets in many of these children. To the extent that it's become almost an arduous task for their parents to get them off it in a bid to make them spend quality time doing things that would help to nurture their minds. Not that electronic gadgets in themselves are wrong altogether, it’s just that it has somehow taken over the attention of many children and young adults to such an alarming rate.

Whilst travelling on a bus the other day, a boy (who couldn’t have been more than 9 years old) made everyone’s journey a cheerless one. With a mobile phone in his hand, and for reasons best known to him, he was creating a scene by shouting at other students on the bus. Jeering and laughing out very loudly! When they turned to meet his gaze, he would either take a picture of them or record a video of them. This carried on until this little boy alighted the bus. His helpless grandma, whom he was travelling with couldn’t stop him as all her cries for him to stop this very unruly and noisy behaviour feel on deaf ears. Meanwhile, I and other passengers aboard looked on defencelessly. Hoping that the senselessness we were witnessing would be short lived. So, you can imagine the relief on people’s faces when he got off the bus with his poor grandma. 

This is what you call antisocial behaviour, which has been made worse by a child’s dependency on electronic gadget. To the extent that he lacked social skills completely. He instead exhibited some ludicrous characteristics to the dismay of helpless passengers.

The American cultural anthropologist and filmmaker Elizabeth Kapu'uwailani Lindsey said this, “We live in a society bloated with data yet starved for wisdom. We're connected 24/7, yet anxiety, fear, depression and loneliness is at an all-time high. We must course-correct.”

She’s too right!

5 Steps to wean children from electronic gadgets

1. Set a good foundation for your child:
You have to ask yourself these: what foundation have I given to my child? Is it the right foundation for them? Is it going to equip them with the right skills for the challenges that they’ll meet in the future? Indeed, is it preparing them to become purposeful individuals in the future? And if you find that the foundation you’ve set for your child is faulty, then change it. Change it because their foundation will determine what they eventually become in the future.

2. Set academic goals for your child:
No matter how advanced society gets, it can never replace the need for education. In fact, the only reason why society has advanced so much is because of education, and without it, we may probably still be in the dark ages. Education enables children to connect with their God-given potential, and when this magic happens, they grow up to become contributors and not just consumers. So, go ahead and set academic goals for your child and challenge them to continuously keep reaching for academic excellence.

3. Set creative goals for your child:
Children are different. Some are academically inclined and others are
not. Now, the fact that a child isn’t academically inclined does not make him or her less of a person – no, not so! The annals of our evolution as a society is full of stories of men and women who did great exploits through the discovery of their creative abilities. Henry Ford at a very young age was for example renowned for dismantling wrist watches and then reassembling them. Although he wasn’t scholarly, yet he is credited for introducing the Model T automobile that revolutionised transportation and American industry. The key thing here is to guide your child on their journey to self-discovery and not allow them to waste away their time with electronic gadgets.

4. Set a weekly timetable for your child:
If children knew how to order their steps in life by themselves, then they wouldn’t be children. They are children because they need tutoring and guidance, and it is the duty of parents to provide this. An unstructured child will become a very confused adult. Thus, to avoid this calamity, you have to introduce and maintain a well-balanced learning system in the home. Your child shouldn’t be the one dictating for you what they want and when they want it. You must let them know and understand that you are the parent – it’s not the other way round!

5. Stick to your guns and be unwavering on your stand:
Children, if left to their own devices, would do nothing but play all day long. They would resist every attempt to get them into a productive routine, but you have to match their resistance with the determination to see it through. Sometimes, in doing this, you may need to use the ‘stick and carrot’ approach. Basically, you reward them for following instructions without failing to let them know that this might be withdrawn if they slide back into unwanted behaviour. Consequently, be ready to effectively withdraw the reward when they fail to keep to agreed boundaries. Although this isn’t always easy for parents to see through, it is quite possible with great determination.

Helping to structure children throughout their upbringing should always be seen as sowing the seeds of greatness that they would reap as a bountiful harvest in the future. The truth is that if you get it right, they would look back someday and thank you for helping them to attain the great achievements in years to come. But if the opposite is the case, then expect them to blame you for not doing enough for them when they needed you to.

Many people talk about ‘whiling away time’ and it makes me laugh really! The reason I laugh is because you don’t actually ‘while away time’ – you waste it. And this I consider is a choice. What choice, therefore, are you making with your children? Will you allow them to waste away their time or will you guide them into using their time most efficiently?

You owe it to your child to give them the necessary guidance that would help to set them aright in life. You must never forget that you are the parent, and that, for a reason. Hence, play your role, and play it well.

The Marriage Workshop